We're not exactly Zagats, but then, this isn't exactly New York. We're just a couple who eat out a lot, and so we made this guide to help you with your Gainesville dining decisions. In general, we don't review restaurants that are hopelessly bad or where the cooks can't prepare a dish without first consulting a laminated operations manual from HQ. (We've made a few exceptions for Archer Road where chains predominate.) This guide also includes encapsulated reviews of bars, coffee houses, and Sunday brunch places. We've restricted our scope to the four areas of town most accessible to conference participants: downtown, campus, Archer Road (near the University Center Hotel), and SW 13th Street (near the Radisson).
Bar and Grill
TGI Bennalos (TGI Fridays, Bennigans, Buffalos) 3598, 3208, & 3404 SW Archer Rd. Avoid forced fun restaurants--especially when that idea of fun centers on a wacky waiter wearing suspenders, buttons with wacky slogans, and a Dr. Suess hat.
Cafe Gardens 1632 W. University Ave. 376-2233 is absolutely the best place to enjoy a warm spring evening and a glass of beer. This cafe offers hamburgers, grilled chicken and fish sandwiches, big salads, and sweet potato fries in a patio setting.
Purple Porpoise 1728 W. University Ave. 376-1667 If you're in the mood for booze and greasy food--chicken wings, fried clam strips, French fries--this is the place you want to be. Consumer ethics alert: the owner is alleged to have attempted the murder of his girlfriend. Warning: smells kind of like stale beer and urine.
The Swamp 1636 W. University Ave. 377-9267 features a pleasant outdoor setting, but the food isn't so good. It all tastes pre-cooked and unimaginative. For outdoor dining near campus, try Cafe Gardens first; if it's crowded and you can't wait, then walk across to The Swamp.
Barbecue
Sonny's Real Pit Bar B-Q 3635 SW Archer Rd. 375-6667 This is true. One of us became a vegetarian when we saw Babe, but actually couldn't keep up the meat-less life when, a month later, Sonny's announced the start of rib month. We ate there so often that month that we suffered from pork-induced psychoses.
Sonny's makes awesome barbecue; order it with sweet tea and baked beans for an authentic Southern meal. Avoid the healthy foods like the salad or baked potato; if you go to Sonny's, you might as well get the real deal.
Texas Road House 3830 SW Archer Rd. 377-2820 This is one of those restaurants where you can throw the peanut shells on the floor. In fact, if you really want to eat on the cheap, pretend you're waiting for a table and gorge yourself on free peanuts in the lobby. This place feels corporate, but the cooks prepare excellent ribs, steaks, and chicken, and the prices are reasonable. Order the baked sweet potato with honey-cinnamon butter as a side-dish.
Caribbean
Emiliano's 7 SE 1st Ave. 375-7381 Strange managerial policies and polymorphously confused waitrons can lead to a somewhat lengthy wait for your meal, but the food tastes great once it arrives. Emiliano's features a broad selection of Caribbean cuisine, including a tasty tapas bar and rich desserts. Prices range from very reasonable to very expensive. Just try not to get too mad when they bring you the sugar encrusted swordfish when all you wanted was the tomato soup.
Chinese
Jade Garden, China Palace, and Szechuan Panda 3610, 2445, and 3830 SW 13th St. Honestly, it's pretty hard to get excited about any of these places when you have such great restaurants as Bahn Thai and Sawamura in the same neighborhood. Nonetheless, if you're in the mood to eat Chinese, we'll give you the rundown. Szechuan Panda has O.K. food, a large exotic fish tank, and lots of rosewood furniture. Jade Garden is the best of the three and has just relocated to a new building that they probably are anxious to pay for. If you're thinking about trying China Palace, you'd be better off thinking about going to Szechuan Panda or Jade Garden. Consumer ethics alert: although it presents an even greater ethical challenge than eating veal, the Szechuan Panda is actually quite delicious (it tastes like chicken, only cuter).
Continental
The Sovereign reservations recommended 12 SE 2nd Ave. 375-6307 Do you know the old Marx Brothers joke about restaurants and reservations? Host: Do you have reservations? Groucho: Yeah, but I'll eat here anyway. Well, that joke captures a Sovereign-like experience. This is the only place in Gainesville that consistently makes the lists of best restaurants in Florida, but the food doesn't always live up to the hype. Stick to the heavy meats in fattening creme sauces for a reliably fabulous dinner, e.g. chateaubriand, beef Wellington. Definitely save room for dessert. Bonus: the chef is a minor local celebrity named Elmo.
Fast Food
Burrito Brothers Taco Company and El Indio 16 & 407 NW 13th St. Both are little hole-in-the-wall takeout places right near campus, and both are staples of the Gainesville college-dining scene. Very reasonably priced, generous portions of yummy tacos, burritos, and guac.
Chinee Takee Outee 14 NW 13th St. 372-7907 That's really the name. We call it Chinee Ethnic Sluree. Another hole-in-the-wall take- out place (located right next to Burrito Brothers), the food is really inexpensive, and, unfortunately, most of it tastes that way, (Is there such a thing as second-hand meat?), but the lo-mein and fried rice are serviceable.
Leonardo's by the Slice 1245 W. University Ave. 375-2007 Low-cost Chicago-style pizza, beer, pasta, healthy salads, and gourmet coffee in a junkshop atmosphere. Top your pasta or pizza with the roasted vegetables. Bonus: the staff carries itself with a surly kind of confidence that can only come from certain knowledge that their conspicuous piercings and tattoos make them hipper than you.
Steak n Shake 1610 SW 13th St. 376-0588 Resist the temptation to try any entree other than the steak burgers. That's not to say that the steak burgers are particularly good; rather, everything else is particularly bad. Don't even think about what "chili three ways" might mean. If you're in a hurry, this place is a better option than its fast-food neighbors, Arby's or Hardee's. Plus, the milk shakes rule.
Indian
Maharaja 101 SE 2nd Pl. 337-9599 We are hesitant to include this place in our review since we fear that it may go out of business any day. No one ever goes there, but honestly, the food's not bad. If you are a connoisseur of Indian food, you will likely find this place second-rate, but stick to the vegetarian dishes for a fine meal. Our favorite is chat. To drink, order the sweet lassie.
Italian
Amelia's reservations recommended 235 S. Main St. 373-1919 The food here is generally great. If you still eat veal, you'll really like this place. Of course, the chef offers plenty of other Italian delicacies to choose from. Tira misu, tira misu, tira misu. The dining room is romantic and intimate. It has the same feel as the one in The Big Night which, by the way, is a great food film. It's about these two brothers who own an Italian restaurant; well anyway, you should rent that movie if you haven't seen it.
Japanese
Kotobuki 1702 W. University Ave. 372-8214 This is a pretty safe bet for lunch. It's right near campus and serves tasty Japanese dishes at reasonable prices. Dinner's a different story. It's more expensive and features a so-so sushi bar and entrees that should just taste better. But we like going here because you can eat dinner while sitting on the floor.
Miya Sushi 3222 SW 35th Blvd. 335-3030 This place offers low-cost, fresh sushi, sashimi, and teriyaki dinners but not much in the way of atmosphere. Ultimately, Miya is about no nonsense Japanese dining.
Sawamura 1624 SW 13th St. 373-1076 is one of those Japanese steak houses where they cook at your table, although the menu also includes sushi, tempura, and other dishes that are prepared in the kitchen. We can heartily recommend the shrimp, scallops, filet mignon, and chicken cooked tableside. Pay close attention when the chef creates a fireball several inches to the left of the shrimp. We haven't yet figured out how it makes the food taste so good, but it seems to work. Bonus: you might see the chef lose a finger.
Sushi-Matsuri 3418 SW Archer Rd. 335-1875 features amazingly fresh fish; this freshness is really important since the fish may begin to grow stale waiting to get from the sushi bar to your table. Service at Matsuri can be sadistically slow, but the wait staff is usually friendly, and the food is decent. (Some people whose opinions we respect think this is the finest restaurant in town.) We recommend sticking to the appetizer menu to get a wide variety of foods.
Korean
Hometown Korean Restaurant 2204 SW 13th St. 378-7525 Did you know that "hometown" in Korean is "ko hyang gip"? That's what our waiter told us. Anyway, this is the only Korean restaurant in Gainesville (and probably within 100 miles of here), and it's not bad. Lots of interesting pickled vegetable appetizers and the soups, meat, and rice dishes are pretty good. Bulkoki dishes cooked tableside are very good. Note for the neurotic: watch out for potentially unsafe pork-handling practices (huh, huh, huh) when getting bulkoki cooked tableside.
Mediterranean
Falafel Plus 2401 SW 13th St. 372-4995 Run by what appear to be a pair of clinically-depressed Lebanese brothers, these guys could really use your business. The food is pretty satisfying, but the dining room doesn't offer much in the way of atmosphere. They offer the standard selection of fast-food middle-eastern cuisine, including falafel, grape leaves, babganoush, spinach pie, gyros, and humus. The food is tasty; the price is right; and you may enjoy your meal more if you make a game of trying to figure out what the giant, orange, plastic alligator with the American flag shackled to its leg symbolizes.
Falafel King 12 NW 13th St. 374-9830 Yet another hole-in-the-wall take-out place, although the acrobatically-inclined may wish to try dining on the convenient six-inch-wide strip of wood they call a table. Very good falafel, gyros, spinach pie, and the like. For some untold reason, they're obsessed with making sure you get your receipt.
Willy's Corner Cafe 106 NW 13th St. 380-0545 Willy is a bitter Greek man who bought this place for his sons, but they apparently want nothing to do with the restaurant. So Willy runs it and worries because there isn't much business. Generally, he sells typical, fast Greek food: gyros and Greek salads. But if you go there for lunch, you can order one of his homemade entrees, and those are fabulous-- particularly the moussaka. Go there; he needs your business.
New Orleans
Harry's 110 SE 1st St. 372-1555 They're supposed to serve New Orleans-style Cajun food, but their formula for culinary success seems to be "bland food + cheesy Mardi Gras decorations = Cajun goodness." It doesn't add up. The red beans and rice are pretty good, though.
Nouvelle
Leonardo's 706 706 W. University 378-2001 This is definitely one of the best restaurants in town. OK, so a really fine restaurant would only display--not sell--the artwork on its walls, but still, this place serves delicious nouvelle cuisine in a hep setting. Try the pasta with shiitake and shrimp or scallops if offered as a special. When ordering from the menu, try the tortelloni (big tortellini) Raphael and the lotta tomata California pizza. The desserts are fabulous, especially the chocolate pate and the apple cobbler with cinnamon ice cream.
Steve's Cafe Americain reservations recommended 12 W. University Ave. 377-9337 This place has served us some fabulous meals; unfortunately, it doesn't always uphold its standards. We especially get annoyed when the chefs try to appear upscale by putting sarcastically small portions on absurdly large plates. But even at its worst, this place beats most of Gainesville's other food choices. The dining room is lovely, and if you order from the prix fixe menu, you should get plenty to eat.
Wolfgang's reservations recommended 11 SE 1st Ave. 378-7850 Wolfgang's is one of the hipper restaurants in town, with the kind of cooking and decor you'd expect to find in a stylish big city cafe. This place does almost everything right, although the spelling and grammatical errors on the menu can destroy the brief illusion of urban swank. Nonetheless, we unhesitatingly recommend Wolfgang's. The menu is quite imaginative, with its wide variety of exotic meat, seafood, and vegetarian dishes.
Other (bland catch-all term)
Kesl's Coney Island 210 SE 1st St. 372-9288 Two words: bulk food. Vegetarians and vegans love this place because it features items such as curried lentils, garden burgers, and carrot juice. Truthfully, we think it sucks, but we keep eating there because it's healthy.
Pura Vida 12 SW 1st St. 378-3398 This is one of the places where we take friends from out of town because the menu is great, the food is affordable, and the chef never lets us down. Well, we don't like the fishcakes, but the jerk chicken is one of the best meals in town and the polenta is great if you put some hot sauce on it. A cozy little cafe, Pura Vida also serves delicious coffees and freshly prepared herbal tea blends. You should definitely eat here.
Chaucer's 112 NW 16th St. 373-8866 We've often said it would be worth writing a restaurant review just so we'd get the chance to slam Chaucer's. We could fill this entire guide with anecdotes and lamentations about this place--which is a shame since the food's actually very healthy and tasty. The problem? The service and management is inexplicably and hopelessly confused. Even if you're the only customer in the entire building, you can count on an aneurysm-inducing dining experience. The last time we ate there, the waitress actually put her tray up to hide her face, hoping we wouldn't notice her walk by and ask her to take our order. You've been warned. If you still insist on going there, order one of the smoothies and see where that gets you. Be sure to bring snacks along to hold you over during the wait.
Tex-Mex
Ernesto's and Crazy Burro 6 S. Main St. & 5 SE 2nd Ave. There just isn't any really good Tex-Mex in this town. But if you're having a craving, either one of these will serve. Get liquored up on the margaritas, and the food tastes better.
Los Tres Amigos and El Toro Mexican Restaurants 1900 and 1723 SW 13th St. °Aye, aye, aye: dolores del estomago! øComo se dice "suck"?
Thai Bahn Thai 1902 SW 13th St. 335-1204 is the best restaurant in Gainesville. Quite honestly, we can't think of anything nasty or back-stabbing to say about this place. If you like Thai food, you'll love Bahn Thai. If you've never tried Thai food before, this is the place to start. Vegetarians and meat-eaters alike can choose from an elaborate menu of authentic appetizers and entrees, ranging from mildly-seasoned dishes that are friendly to the western palate to scorching hot curry recipes and other exotic fare. If you can't find anything on the menu that suits you, ask about Mi Kratee, Gang Kua, Panang, or Emerald Curry. Bonus: if you're really nice, they sometimes give free dessert.
Vietnamese
Saigon Cafe 1222 W. University Ave. 338-0023 Awkwardly nestled between a pawn shop and a store selling Gator hair scrunchies and other silly UF paraphernalia, Saigon Cafe is a wonderful little Vietnamese restaurant and one of the best dining bargains in town. It serves a wide variety of authentic Vietnamese dishes, including some fantastic soups. Some of the English translations on the menu may sound a bit unappetizing (rare beef tendon), but don't get scared off by the names; the food's all very good.
Saigon Palace 3500 SW 13th St. 377-4660 There's a better Vietnamese restaurant in town (see Saigon Cafe), but the scenery makes Saigon Palace worth the trip. Located at the edge of Lake Bivens, the view is spectacular if you dine at sunset. Choose from either authentic Vietnamese cuisine or Mongolian grill (a salad-bar-like set-up where you put raw ingredients into a bowl and watch them get stir-fried on/in a gigantic wok). Note for the neurotic: make sure you tell the wok-guy to put your cooked meats into a different bowl than the one you used to bring him the raw meats. Bonus: at sunset, you'll see more alligators here than you'll see at Florida Reptile Land. (Stay away from the dumpster.)
A Selection of Bars, Pubs, and Clubs Downtown Covered Dish 210 SW 2nd Ave. 377-3334 The best place for live music. If it gets loud, just step out on the patio. They give away free pizza at happy hour on Friday.
Durty Nelly's 208 W. University Ave. 374-9567 Gainesville's only Irish pub. Dark, dingy, nice 'n' surly. Happy Hour 111 S. Main St. 378-8961 OK, this is a pool hall, but you can get beer here, and it really has the smoky, grungy air you want when you shoot pool.
High Note 300 W. University Ave. Upstairs, intimate jazz club.
Lillian's Music Store 112 SE 1st St. 372-1010 Catering especially to adults who like live covers of '70s radio hits performed by bands with names like Lickety Split.
Market Street Pub 120 SW 1st Ave. 377-2927 Home-brewed beers for the Anglophile. Also featuring the kind of cuisine that made English cooking famous. Read into that comment whatever you wish.
The Side Bar 15 SW 2nd St. 373-4454 A pub with character and a patio.
The Soul House Hip and elegant--in a SoHo kind of way. Great for conversation.
University Club 18 E University Ave. 378-6814 Gay disco. Drag show on Thursday nights. The most fun club in town.
Archer Road ABC 3433 SW Archer Rd. 378-1978 Country music and line dancing in a club featuring a rotating bar with a cheesy fountain as a centerpiece. This place is gloriously kitsch.
Campus Purple Porpoise 1728 W. University Ave. 376-1667 Quintessential college bar. Smells like stale beer and urine.
Salty Dog Saloon 1712 W University Ave. 376-5153 Low-rent and full of character(s).
Coffee Houses Place Area Atmosphere Selection of Sweets *Chesapeake campus fast food-like very poor *Common Grounds campus bohemian-ish not much choice *Emiliano's dwntn. lovely room/patio best desserts in town *Leo's campus junk-shop chic/patio cakes,scones,pies, cookies *Maude's dwntn. standard room/patio acceptable cakes and pies *Pura Vida dwntn. cozy room limited but homemade Special Mention: Krispy Kreme. The coffee here is just terrible, but the donuts are so fabulous (webmaster's note: I think the coffee's ok. Plain, but ok). If you go there when the "Hot Donuts Now" sign is on, that means they are running the donut machine which is a very cool Rube Goldberg-ish device that you can watch as it mass produces donuts. When you get the signature donut fresh, it melts in your mouth like cotton candy.
Sunday Brunch
Wolfgang's and Pura Vida 11 SE 1st Ave. 378-7850 & 12 SW 1st St. 378-3398 You can't go wrong choosing either place. Both feature superb brunch delicacies at prices ranging from $5 to $10. And since these places stand so near each other, you can look at both menus before you decide which restaurant to stick with.